


Thunderbolt and Lightning

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Demons, Gen, Humor, Mesopotamian Mythology - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: Crowley has a squatter. On his roof.





	Thunderbolt and Lightning

Crowley awoke to the sound of his gutters being eaten. He flung up the window and peered out, craning his neck around to see an extremely large griffin-like creature sitting on the roof, chewing contemplatively. Lightning crackled under its dark wings every time it shifted. Its claws were probably getting right under the edges of his roof-tiles, he thought. If he got a leak he was _not_ going to be held responsible for his actions.

"Do you _mind?_ " he said, closely followed by, "What the blessed hell are you doing on my roof?"

"Just looking for a spot to nest, pal," it said quite cheerfully, cocking its head to look down at him. "I like your roof, it's supernaturally cosy. It's a good place to bring up kids."

"What on earth is a -" Crowley mentally ran through a catalogue of creatures he'd seen and/or got drunk with on his travels, "Mesopotamian theriomorphic personification of thunder and lightning doing in London, anyhow?"

The creature shrugged, accidentally sending a blast of lightning into the neighbour's window-box. "It's that big exhibition the British Museum did on Assyria," it said. "Made a lot of us decide to come over for a visit. It's good to be remembered, you know." It absent-mindedly took a bite out of the chimneystack.

"Oi! Go and vandalise someone else's supernatural place. I have to pay for the upkeep here. And don't even think of nesting. Pigeons in the chimney are bad enough."

"In the good old days it'd take a proper semi-divine hero to get rid of me," the creature said condescendingly. "But seeing as I'm a tourist and representing the old country -"

"Old's one way of putting it. Go on, off the roof!"

"- I will graciously accede to the wishes of a local skinny demonic resident."

It stretched out its full wingspan while Crowley was still fulminating over the _skinny_ remark, and leapt from the roof, beating the massive wings with a huge clap of thunder. The chimney pot fell into the road, knocked away by a brush of the enormous feathers.

"Hold on, did you say there are more visitors?" Crowley yelled after it.

"Lots," it called back. A stray lightning bolt took out the whole street's power. "Sorry!"

Crowley grimaced. He had no time or desire to be the local tour guide. The Museum really _had_ to stop putting the demon-summoning tablets out on public view.

**Author's Note:**

> [The exhibition](https://www.britishmuseum.org/about_us/past_exhibitions/2019/ashurbanipal.aspx) the Anzu-bird refers to.


End file.
